Blog
The team at Chronodynamics Labs uses the Travelator every day to seek out fascinating relics of the distant past and recent future. From time to time, on this blog, we’ll post some of our most interesting discoveries.
TX651 and TX1954
14.08 2008 A.D.
Yesterday we had one of our most delightful finds yet. During a scan of the Kalgoorlie region, the Travelator discovered a pair of objects bearing SNACK signatures from the future. We dispatched a team, who followed the source of the reading and came across two small robots in a ditch by the side of the road.
The robots didn’t do much until they were brought back to our labs in Perth. In fact, when we got a hold of them, they were inactive. Imagine our surprise, then, when we placed them on a lab bench for further study, and they suddenly became animated... and talkative.
Our initial conversation didn’t make a lot of sense. They started speaking some sort of crazy future language. The Travelator puts them a few hundred years out. Once they picked up on our English, though, they switched tongues and we managed to get a little information out of them. It turns out they’re named TX6541 and TX1954, and they’re "bobobots."
We’re not entirely sure what "bobobots" are yet. Our most productive exchange went something like this:
US: "What do bobobots do?"
THEM: "We maintain the bobos."
US: "What are the bobos?"
THEM: "Like bobobos, but smaller."
US: "Can you be more descriptive?"
THEM: "Well, they’re really pretty great."
US: "Okay, what makes them great?"
THEM: "Good design, I guess."
US: "And what were they designed for?"
THEM: "To be maintained by us, mainly."
The future is strange.
Angry Dad
13.08 2008 A.D.
The Travelator doesn’t just find objects; it also picks up on radiation and particles from the past or future, and that includes things like wireless signals. On occasion, we’ll receive an SMS from 2015, or a phone call from 1992, or what have you.
Of course, we can’t respond, and generally don’t receive the other half of the conversation, which makes the experience fairly interesting. Take, for instance, this transmission we received from 1952:
"Now commencing first test of the Mobile Telephone Service—the date is June 3rd, 1952. This is highly experimental technology, so we expect minimal success. This transmission is being recorded by... oh, wait. What? I’ve... I’ve got an incoming call. How do I... how do I switch? Oh. Right. No. Now I think it’s on hold. No wait... right. Hello? Hello? Jimmy? (pause.) This is not acceptable timing. (pause.) Go tell your mother. (pause.) It doesn’t matter, put it back in the refrigerator. (pause.) Well, those should normally be blue. (pause.) Okay, Jimmy, listen to me very carefully. I need you to call animal control. The number is in the phone book-Jimmy, Jimmy? Don’t hang up on me Jimmy, don’t-"
Ye Olde Tomes
04.08 2008 A.D.
Stepping into our storeroom today, I was reminded just how much time traveling junk from yesteryear we’ve picked in the past year of working on the Travelator. A lot of is books and magazines, which is great, because there’s nothing more comfortingly bizarre than printed materials from the past.
Take, for instance, this gem: 36 back copies of Wired magazine from 1993-1996. It’s great fun to read about this "new thing called the Internet." We came across this entire stack lying at the bottom of an elevator shaft in an apartment building. Presumably someone in the late 90s is distressed and confused about their missing magazine collection.
Or, you can go even further this back with this collection of medical texts from the late 19th century we discovered on top of a sand dune in Lancelin. Gems include:
- Timely Improvement of Humours by Bloodletting and Leech
- Phrenological Study and Implications for Increasing Manly Vigour
- The Doctor’s McAdam Physician Guide to Tinctures, Decoctions and Formentations, With Attention Given to Animal Magnetism and Consumptive Hydropathy